Father's Day: Pancakes, Golf and Learning to Cook

This picture was taken on Father's Day 2002. Max was 4 months old and with him is his Grandpa Doug.

Doug came into my life when I was 14. I was a typical teenager and all I really cared about was talking on the phone. And boys. And I was probably a little obnoxious. Doug was dating my mom and she really liked him. Eventually, they decided to get married. I wanted my mom to be happy and he made her happy so I was as supportive as a 14 year old could be. The night they got married Doug told me something I'll never forget: "I love your mother and I love you. I realize you have a father and I will not try to take his place. I will be your friend, earn your respect and support you in any way I can."

Over the years, Doug did everything from help me buy my first car to teach me to drive a stick shift. He taught me to play golf and how to play Keno in Vegas. He made the best pancakes, didn't yell when I brought home another stray animal and he helped load and unload the truck when I went to college. He applauded my achievements, worried I would never learn to cook and came to the rescue when a high school friend drove his car through a large plate glass window at our house. He saw me graduate from college, start my first job, inspected every car/apartment/condo and was there the night Max was born. But most of all, he kept his promise of supporting me. He absolutely earned my respect. And he loved me like his own.

Doug got sick in November 2002 and was given 6 months to live. I was crushed that Max would never know him. During that time, even when I wasn't sure he could hear me, I told him all the things he had done to impact my life. I promised I would make sure Max knew all about him and he would certainly know where his first fishing pole and golf clubs came from.

Today, I visited Doug at the cemetery. I visit often but always go on Father's Day. I took along someone special today, who occasionally says or does something that reminds me of Doug and makes me laugh out loud.

I miss Doug every day and often find myself thinking of things I would tell him if he were here, like the fact that I did learn to cook but I still stink at golf. If you're a step-dad or if you become one someday, never underestimate the impact you have.

Happy Father's Day, Doug!